Faking It 101: How to Survive to a Conversation about Wine, Beer or Bourbon.
Hi All! This article appeared in issue 1 of the zine it’s just a . I’ve been doing quite a bit of editing and rewriting these past few weeks so thank you for your patience!
There are times in a young enthusiasts career when you are confronted by a group of collectors that are seemingly endlessly aware of producers, regions, vintages, styles and know everyone in the industry.
Unless you have the constitution of hardened steel, having your contribution to the conversation smiled at and ignored is almost as bad as being told to 'shoo.' That scenario doesn't happen often, however, it will at some point. Any hobby/passion that involves scarcity, a sizable amount of knowledge and not a small amount of money to participate, there will be members that feel progress and the accumulation of knowledge/taste amounts to social worth. Those are small minded individuals and are rightfully called snobs. Without a game plan, it is easy to be dumbstruck and rendered mute.1
When you want to have a bit of fun with the snobs, a few fictional prepared stories are very helpful. You should have keywords that signal it is time to elbow your narrative in. The following is a helpful list of prepared fables preceded by a keyword.
Wine
Champagne
A friend of mine just got back from Luc de Temple in the Aube. He told me that he visited an estate, well more like a collection of vines and a small shed just outside of Piny. Louis Petnard of Domaine De Lesseps? I think that's right. [Pause to look around for conformation.] Anyway, he's the godson of Jacq Sellose.
Well, estranged godson now. They had a falling out over cellar techniques. I know, right? Louis thinks second fermentation is completely unnecessary. He only makes like five hundred cases of Pet-Nat, thinks Vin Clair is too much fuss. If there are any follow up questions answer in the negative. For example, No I don't think his wine is imported, but you never know it might be buried in some direct shipper's portfolio.